Got the best partner!


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

This is a short simple incident which changed my life for the better.  Around 16 years ago, my aunt who lives in Delhi came to know that a prospective groom’s family was searching for a girl for marriage.  Since I was of marriageable age at that time, she decided to talk to them about me.

Later we came to know that the boy’s family wanted a girl from Delhi and a teacher and I was neither!  It’s not that this was something I was expecting or broke my heart, but it was kind of a “rejection” for me which I didn’t like!

That boy’s family passed on my alliance to a neighbor of theirs as they knew that they were also looking for a girl for their son.  They liked me and after talking to me over phone it was decided mutually that we will meet.  I met that boy and his family.  In the first meeting itself, I liked that tall lanky boy with a disarming smile and simple nature and within 6 months we were married.

On the day of our reception, the other boy’s family came to greet us.  He had gotten married by then.  When I looked at him I instantly said, “Thank God I didn’t get married to him!”  Personality wise he was nowhere close to my husband, he was a grumpy irritable fellow.  Later on we came to know that he subjected his wife to domestic violence too.

That rejection of the boy’s family was a blessing in disguise for me as I got the gem of a man as my husband and not that abusive man!  I got the best partner that any girl could wish for and here we are happily together for 15 years now!


A city that made me independent

I was raised for the most part of my life in a small town where everything was easily accessible.  If one had to travel somewhere to reach for half an hour, the distance was considered too much!  Apart from that, I was always under the shelter of my loving parents.  I had not stayed in a hostel or in any other city for education or job.  Yes, I was pretty self-reliant in that I would go to my office in my 2-wheeler, could shop, and do minimal stuff.

Then I got married and that was the first time I was actually “on my own”!  Of course, my husband has always been my strength and support.  I got married and came to Mumbai, the big metro, the city of dreams.  I was always a lousy pedestrian who took half an hour to cross a “little busy” road or required my siblings’, parents’ or friends’ help to cross.  I was very good with a two-wheeler though!

It was a Mumbai, a city with huge population, never-ending and never-stopping traffic, people who were always on a run.  Within a month of marriage, I got a job.  The office was in Andheri.  I had never traveled in a BEST bus or local train before this.  In the morning me and my husband would start for our respective offices together, catch the same local but our destinations were different.  I had to get down before him.

I still remember the first time I traveled all alone from my home to Andheri.  For somebody who is new to Mumbai, East and West of any station is a new word, confusing.  I somehow managed to get down at Andheri station but got confused by the East and West directions!  My office was in the East and I took an auto from West and ended up searching for my office for a good 1 hour and ended up paying double the fare.  This was the era where there was no Smartphone or GPS.

Slowly and steadily with lots of trial and errors, I started to figure out everything; the local train routes, the BEST bus numbers and routes, tentative auto fares even without meter!

Today I can travel extensively to any part of this vast city without any fear.  Of course, mobiles, tracking devices, various cab services have made life easier.

This city made me fearless, independent, and self-reliant!

Loving partner equals happy pregnancy and parenting

I was married quite young (according to this generation standards) and was expecting my first child within 2 months of my marriage.  I had an arranged marriage but by God’s grace and our own simplicity and compatibility me and my husband gelled like “old friends” from day 1. So, expecting our first child so early on was not an issue, rather we both were elated.  We both went to office early in the morning, traveled by local train and bus to reach our respective offices.  Since we stay nuclear, it was only the two of us.  My new young husband didn’t draw a huge salary, we traveled by public transport, I ate in the canteen during lunchtime, still that was one of the best phases of my life.  The phase where we were transitioning from newly weds to new parents within a span of few months.  We both were and still are an impulsive couple who don’t think or dwell much.  We were young, not much of planners, didn’t have a lot of money, but did share loads of happiness together.  The visit to the doctor, my husband holding my hand instinctively when climbing over-bridge or even walking, feeding me lovingly, when I wouldn’t feel eating after the whole day, giving me my prenatal medicines on time were the small gestures that kept me happy.

This was 14 years back when Internet was not much prevalent, Smartphones didn’t exist, there weren’t so many Indian parenting forums like today.  But we both read books, browsed through Babycenter, talked to the gynecologist a lot, and most importantly weren’t paranoid.  We took pregnancy and parenthood as happily and easily as we took to our married life.  But again, due to lack of support system and my naivety I would often worry whether I would be able to handle our baby well, whether I would become a good mother.  My husband also confidently told me that we would make better parents than our own parents.  I would tell him that they are more experienced and he would always say parenting is a hands-on thing which each parent experiences and handles differently.

I had a smooth pregnancy but in the last month due to high blood pressure had our son 15 days earlier as I had to undergo emergent C-section.  My husband was there with me all the time.  He was the one who washed our son’s meconium-stained nappies, he was the one who held him first, he was the first one who made him wear diaper.  He would feed him patiently top milk with spoon during first 2 days when I wasn’t in a position to feed.

We celebrated our first anniversary apart as he couldn’t come to my parents’ place due to work commitments.  We both had cried that day over landline phone.  Once my son turned 2 months old, I came back to Mumbai and since that day that “confident father” has always been my rock-solid support, raising our 2 kids.

I have always believed that money, good food, medicines are important during pregnancy but most important is the husband’s love and support.  It is the key to a healthy and happy pregnancy and motherhood.